In a recent conversation, we were discussing the role that positive thinking can have in someone's life, and as I've been thinking about that conversation, there's some things I'd like to share with you.
See, I've often said that positive thinking "doesn't work" and I'd like to be more specific about that, because I've learned more since then.
First of all, I notice that people who grab onto positive thinking as a practice (myself included a few years ago), affirmations, etc. really have one intention: they just want so much to feel better. 💖
When we go through things in life, certain painful transitions or traumas, and things reach a height of stress and/or dispair, what a very natural thing to just want some relief. You may not be ready to do the "deep healing work" that could very well bring more pain, you just want to breathe for a minute. Nothing wrong with that.
Trying the positive thinking way may be just like grabbing a buoy in the storm. You just need a break. You just want to rest for a minute. And just like a buoy in the storm, it's hard to let go of, even though on some level you know this isn't a permanent solution.
I just want to let you know that wherever you are is fine. The deep healing that we all need WILL, in nearly every case, make things worse before they get better. You'll stir the pot and have to learn how to deal with things in a new way which is uncomfortable. If you're not ready that's ok.
I see that the people who are ready have not really let go of the buoy. They were exhausted from hanging onto it. They have fully milked every ounce of value from the stepping stone of positive thinking and now they have come back into the stormy ocean, knowing that they have to try something different. They have to build the boat and navigate to the shore. And it can't be put off any longer. So from exhaustion comes a desire to do the necessary clean up so that one day, you may actually be able to really, really let go and just enjoy your life.
Just a reminder to you today. I'm here if/when you're ready to do that deep healing work, and there's no rush. You'll know when it's time. You've got to be where you are and most of all, realize that you're there for a very good reason. Life is patient. You are eternal, and you'll work it out eventually.
Hope this serves you today. If you're doing the deep work and you see a friend who's trying the positive thinking thing, NEVER shame them for it, but bless them where they are. They may just need a breather. 🦋 Just focus on you. Perhaps the transformation you demonstrate will give them the hope they need to go into those darker places. Maybe not. But if there is a way, your example is it. Pressure isn't. Shame isn't.